On the Patio: April

I once new a very cool gal. We got along just fine, had fun. We were lovers for a while at a time when both of us needed someone that would just be there for us.

We were together in the biblical sense one time and really groovin' it. When she says, 'You know, that really feels good, but I don't feel so well. I think I need something. Do you have a candy bar, a Hershey's, or a coke?" I reply no, but that I could get her one. "What's going on?" "My blood sugar is plummeting!", she said.

I knew she was diabetic, Type 1, she had told me. But I had never seen any of the signs. I looked at her and she was pale. I jumped out of the bed and grabbed my pants to get change for a coke machine down the hall. Grabbed the change and ran out the door, remembering to place a towel on the floor at the door so it wouldn't lock behind me. The noise of me running down the hall was so loud I thought someone would open their door thinking there was a fire in the hotel and they had not heard the alarm. I put the coins in the coke Pepsi machine (I don't drink Pepsi,) made the selection, and hoofed it back down the hall to April in the room, who I knew was by now convulsing and frothing at the mouth. I was trying to come up with what to say to convince the cops that it was an accident...all I was doing--all we were doing was having consensual sex! I couldn't help it that I was too much for her! I didn't mean to kill her!!

She was sitting on the bed waiting for the sugar filled drink. I popped the top and handed it to her. She took a drink and then stopped...looked at the can, and said, "This is Pepsi One, it's sugar free. I need sugar!"

"Damn shit fuck," says I. I grabbed some more change from my pants and headed for the door when she said, "This time wrap a towel around you, or put some clothes on. Someone is going to report you for public nakedness!" "Damn shit fuck," thought I.

Ends up, I got her the sugar drink. She also found a candy bar in the recesses of her baggage. We talked about her being diabetic for a while, I recovered from the scare, and we resumed our previous activities. After a bit of getting re-aquainted with each other, she utters, "Compared to the size of your dick, your balls aren't that big." Kind of matter-of-factly, she said it. I said, "What??" She replied that it was no big deal, didn't mean anything by it, 'It's just that with a dick the size of yours, I would expect that your balls would be a lot bigger." I could feel the manhood of girth begin to diminish. I felt cold all of a sudden, the room was getting dark, there was a deafening din of quiet in the room. Damn shit fuck, thinks I. I mean, that was a hell of a backhanded compliment..or was it? I want to cuss her out and kick her out of bed! My feelings are crushed. What ego? She had just destroyed it with a few words. I was a useles shell of a porn star man.

"Oh. Ok," I said, "You do realize.....I just saved your life...." She snickered a little......