On the Patio

Some Booze For Today

Some Liquor for today. And a few toasts.


"We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of
a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow."

"There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be."


"'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'
Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

The devil invented Scotch whiskey to make the Irish poor.

No Ire

"I was at a St. Patty's Day party this morning and met a garjus little gal. She asked me if i was Irish, I said indeed I was. I then asked the lass if she had any Irish in her, to which she replied no. I then eagerly responded with, Well, then, would you like some?"

You know what they say about Irishmen with big noses, doncha?

Old Man March

Another damn year must have come and gone. I don't really remember it, much anyway. I was a day shy, really only missed it by less than an hour, of being born on St Patty's day. But every year I get the green fever. I celebrate my day all that week, this year won't be different. I really should interview designated drivers.

Trouble at the Bank of Ireland

First Irish Joke of the Month

An armed and hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the
tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot,
one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the
robber¹s face.

The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation! He then looks
around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and
calmly shoots him in the head also. Everyone by now is very scared and
looking down at the floor.

"Did anyone else see my face?" calls the robber.

There are a few moments silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down,
tentatively raises his hand and says...

"I think me wife may have caught a glimpse."

Bachelor Bastard

OK, so let's first address the fact I watched "The Bachelor" this season.
I hunt and fish, I kill and gut animals, then I eat them. On occasion I eat at KFC. I wear animal products and sport T-shirts with off-color words on them. I smoke cigars and drink Irish whiskey. But this season I watched that chick-reality series. I'm still very much a man secure in my masculinity.

Jason Mesnick needs some reality awakening. First, he had to waddle through 25 gorgeous women, many of whom made their first mistake by speaking. But still, it was fun to watch and easy to get into. This turd nugget from Seattle really knows how to bleed an audience. It's all scripted of course, he's a decent enough actor.

Listen up, we guys have been dumping women since before HOOTERS was a place to get chicken wings and watch UFC. And truth be told... <sniff> ... women have been doing the same. But this years' Bachelor did something last night on live TV that makes pretty much all men look bad. He told all watching he was dumping (Sweet) Melissa for who he really is in love with (" No, I really mean it this time!"), Molly. and Molly accepted Jason's bail-out, ("Let's see how it goes.").

Dumb meets Scum. Dumb drops panties for Scum. Scum leaves Dumb.

He actually could have had a good thing if he had started at the beginning doing this... 25 women in a few weeks?....sheeeeet!

Finally Fishing

My February closed with a bang!

Tuesday night I was driving to Corpus Christi for a much needed two days of fishing. My buddy has a house there on the water. Three covered boat slips, about 3000 square feet of deck loking out over his part of the bay. I'm sure there was an inside to the house, but I wasn't there much, only to sleep.

We hit the water Wednesday morning in his boat, a MOSCA flats boat. Whoa! I don't think it was missing much, if anything. Running into 30+- mph winds, sure we got wet, but much not much. Low gunnels allowed us to jump out and simply step back into the boat in most cases. A sweet ride on the water.

Laguna Madre is what it translates to in English, Mother. With cool temps and the high winds, there were not many other anglers out those two days. But I'm sure this huge bay could handle the traffic. And even with the big blow, most of the usually blue/green bay waters were only milky with mud.

The fish? I'm sure they were there the first day, but we managed only dink trout. The second day the trout were still avoiding us very well. We charged the MOSCA over to the King Ranch shoreline and spied a sand bar that wound along the shore for about 5 miles or more. At the edge of the sand bar was a drop-off of about 3 feet into grass covered soft mud. We waded and fished those drop offs. We caught fish.

With 10 pound test on my ALL*STAR rod, a 1/4 oz. jig head, and a pumpkin seed chartreuse colored paddle tout, we caught reds. Lots of reds. Those bay carp would hang in the mud at the drop-off of the bar, and in my mind I could picture them digging into the soft mud in an effort to escape whatever was pulling them shallow. The gold, large scaled fish were unsuccessful in each case, we landed every one of them.

Pictures? Aint none. I guess with so many fish, it just escaped my thoughts to capture it on film. Like every fishing trip, every fish caught, every time a salty wave slapped me in the face, I won't forget a single part of of this trip!

Spring weather will be here in a few weeks. I can feel the fever growing. Fishing will turn on as the water warms. I'll be ready, too.